Seriously. I'm really, really tired. Today I had an appointment with a local nurse practitioner who specializes in "women's issues."
First of all, let me say her office was just lovely. It smelled nice, she had soft music playing and a place with tons of different types of tea, and it was so peaceful. In the entry way was a quote from St. Benedict: Always, we begin again. I don't know why, but whenever I go into warm, nurturing places like this, I feel like crying.
Anyway, the reason I went is I am so exhausted. I've tried going to bed earlier, getting up earlier, napping, supplementing with vitamins and herbs, cutting out caffeine, eating better, going for walks, and no matter what I do, I'm just too pooped to party. She is going to check my thyroid and maybe do a hormone panel, but get this-- she thinks I may just have too much going on.
This doesn't sit well with me, let me tell you. Sure I'm a mother of four, but there are plenty of other women out there with twice as many kids who don't feel like they need an 11 AM nap and another one at 3. And there's La Leche League and Sunday School and MDC and the fact that I haven't been to Mass in months so I am not getting fed spiritually and co-op where I taught again and general pastor's wife stuff and running kids around (swim team sign ups were tonight!) and trying to make more food from scratch and gardening and homeschooling and... ok, well when I type it all out it seems like too much. And yet when I am living it, it doesn't seem like nearly enough.
So, I don't know what's going on. There doesn't seem to be a lot of wiggle room in my life right now, and yet things somehow have gotten horribly out of balance. Daniel is getting molars and is up nursing five or six times in the night, Nicholas is obedience-challenged, Katie Grace and Michael are just so stinking busy. I do know that something has to change. If I keep going on like this, I'm just going to collapse in a heap.
Tomorrow morning I'm getting up at 6 AM to go have bloodwork done. And then I'll make breakfast and spend the day getting Katie Grace's party together, including decorating a cake. And at the end of the day I'm probably going to feel just a little bit more tired than before.
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14 years ago
6 comments:
I am exhausted just reading your blog. How do you do everything you do? My car moves out of my driveway 8 times a month - 4 to Mass, 3 to get milk, 1 to LLL. Isn't that pathetic? Yeah, go ahead and say it. It is!
Anyway, I hope you get to the bottom of this. It is super hard being a mom (and, I imagine, a pastor's wife) and of course homeschooling and all that comes with it. Maybe there is something else going on though. I hope you get to the bottom of it. When will you know the results of your bloodwork?
Like Emily says, I am just exhausted reading everything you do. You are amazing. Steven Covey says that we 'mustn't let the good be the enemy of the great' meaning that sometimes the 'nice to do' gets in the way of the bigger picture. That's certainly my case. I am completely washed out and exhausted myself at the moment, and can't see my way through. Its really lovely to see that I'm not alone.
Thanks Emily! And I certainly don't think your life is pathetic. Besides, with the party you got out 9 times this month, LOL!
I have another appointment on the 29th and she should have the results by then.
I'm trying not to let perfection be the enemy of the good, but it's hard. It's definitely something I am working on!
I am exhausted too. I have 5 kids and about the same schedule as you as well. On Mother's Day I slept in till 9am and still felt like I was in a cloud all day. It is so funny I should read your post, because I was thinking just yesterday, maybe I have some kind of sickness. Why am I always tired?
I hate when people say: "I just don't know how you do it." because the truth is I HAVE to do it. Nothing can change. If anything I am NOT doing enough. I too have not been to Mass in months. We have so much going on.
I hope you feel more energized soon.
Make them test you for anemia also. That was my problem and another of my friend's also and it will WIPE YOU OUT! I mean you wake up tired as if you haven't slept. It is not hard to fix! God bless you. May He give you peace and health. If you can't go to Mass, then try for some quiet time when little is asleep and everyone else can "rest and doodle".
Annette, I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself. :hug
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