Faith, Hope, and Love

I've been having trouble sleeping lately, and so I've been praying the rosary. When I was little, someone once told me that if you fall asleep praying the rosary, your guardian angel finishes it for you. It seemed like a win-win solution.

Another rosary tradition left over from my childhood is to say before the each of the three Hail Marys at the beginning "For an increase of faith...," "For an increase of hope...," and "For an increase of love."

I get why we need to pray for our faith to be increased, and I understand why we need more love. But to be honest, I've never understood why hope was lumped in with the other two. I've always thought of hope not so much as a necessity, but as a luxury, something that's nice to have because it makes our days more pleasant.

We're losing another baby. We were really shocked when we found out I was pregnant so soon after the miscarriage. We had an early ultrasound, and there was concern because they couldn't see the baby's heartbeat. Then, three days later, there it was--a beautiful little flutter on the ultrasound. And now, two weeks after... nothing. No heartbeat, no growth, no increase in HCG levels. No life.

I have faith and I have love, but hope is a little hard to come by right now.

"Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?" So writes St. Paul in the book of Romans. He then goes on to say "But if we wait for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."God promises in Isaiah that "those who hope in Me will not be disappointed."

Right now, I'm very disappointed. I won't lie. Not in God, but in the state of things. I'm beginning to see how inextricably entwined faith, hope, and love are. I'm finding myself despairing a little. And so, there is nothing left to do but to pray.

For an increase of faith.

For an increase of love.

For an increase of hope.