Growing in Faith: Praying with and for Your Children

We do something called "Milestone Ministries" at our church. At baptism, babies receive a faith chest, hand-carved by church members. When they're two and start Sunday School, they get prayer pillows. When they start kindergarten, they get Beginners' Bibles, and so on, all the way up til high school graduation, when they get hand-made fleece blankets. For the past four years, I've been leading a workshop for the parents and toddlers who get their prayer pillows, both at our church and another local church. I got asked to do it again this year. I really wanted to say no, but I'm a pushover, LOL!

It is an interesting topic to me. When I was in grad school, I did a huge research paper of James Fowler and faith development in children. Anyway, since today was largely taken up by a drive to the local camp to pick up song books and a midwife appointment, I thought I would share my thoughts on stages of a child's prayer life.

Before baby is born or adopted, pray for the child.

In infancy, make daily routines--bathing, rocking, nursing, etc-physical incarnations of prayer.

From birth on, place your hands on Baby's head and pronounce a blessing. Pray over your child.

In toddlerhood, prayer becomes a relationship. A child's image of God is strongly based on his relationship with his parents. God is a person, not an abstraction or a spiritual being. A toddler's prayers have mixed motives and are spoken with a sense of conversation and companionship. God is a friend, and prayer is grounded in moral realism.

As a child grows, prayer becomes attentive. It becomes more outward-focused and attention is directed more towards God, friends, family, and creation. Prayer is less self-centered. Children may begin to examine their consciouses and confess faults. They ask questions, and begin to listen for God's answer.

Older children view prayer as a way of participating in God's work. Prayer matters, and can change the course of events. Prayer can increase a child's feeling of active engagement with the world, and prayer begins to strengthen a child's sense of compassion, understanding, and charity.

Finally, prayer is transformation. "To pray is to change." (Richard Foster)